Landrew Kentmore

The big thing you don't get on the Internet are clothing stores that smell like cologne and guys with gelled hair trying to sell you cell phones. For a while, you also didn't get the food court, but that has changed! Now you can order food over the Internet, so it's just like the food court on the Internet, just without so many pieces of shredded lettuce stuck to the tables (unless you were shredding lettuce on your table and didn't clean up it all up).

Getting food over the Internet is a pretty new thing, so there are probably a lot of people who are confused by it. To help, I've answered a bunch of important questions below.

Q: I have a hard time doing things that take more than three steps to get done. Can I order food in three steps?

A: Yes, as long as you organize the steps right. For example, here's ordering food over the Internet in three steps: Step 1--your stomach gets hungry; Step 2--you go on the internet and order food; Step 3--a deliver guy shows up and gives you the food.

Q: What kind of food can I get over the Internet?

A: The two kinds of food you can order over the Internet are sandwiches and pizza. There might be a third or even fourth kind of food that you might be able to order over the Internet, but I haven't ordered them yet, so I don't know what they are.


Q: Is getting food over the Internet like getting books over the Internet?

A: The ordering part is similar, but books and food are very different. For example, you don't need to read books three times a day to survive. Also, you use your eyes on books and your mouth on food, which are two different parts of your face. Sometimes people say they devoured a book, but they don't mean they ate the book. They mean that their brain was really hungry for a book and so their brain ate a book by reading it fast. Most of time, when people say this, they just want to let you know they went to college.

Q: Is getting food over the Internet like getting music over the Internet?

A: No, but I wish it was! Think about how awesome it would be to download food! And instead of an MP3 player you would have a food player! You could download a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich and load it onto your food player for the morning bus ride! If you meet someone new, you could make him or her a mix, but it would be a mix of food! (You could put a lot of sushi and Thai food in the mix so she thinks you're cultured!) Maybe you could even illegally download food, but that might get dangerous with viruses.

This is a good start to learning how to order food over the Internet. As technology gets more advanced, the process will change (like if they build speakers that make smells instead of sounds, that might make ordering more interesting because you could smell the food cooking, but then some old websites might smell pretty nasty).